Reflecting on all the years gone past that I can remember even slightly I can honestly say that so much of the good, so much of the joyful and so many of the beautiful experiences I have had in my almost 33 years is either directly connected or revolves solely around my mother. One of my favorite quotes heard in reference to Mother’s day is from Abraham Lincoln he said “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” I too, owe so much of what I am and the hopes and dreams I have to my Mother. The past six and a half months of my life have been among the most difficult I have ever experienced. It is impossible to describe the pain, and sadness that comes with not seeing my children for almost 7 months now. Every day I strive hard to keep proper perspective and give Breanna and Payton my best from 2700 miles away.
Much of my strength comes from not only the comfort of my angel Mother, but from her example as well. Without going into detail I know that one of the hardest things she ever had to do was to allow my two younger brothers to live in foster care. She knew it they would be happier and would enjoy a better life in the capable and worthy hands of great foster parents. I know now, at least a little taste of how hard that must have been. I have begun to understand just how much of a sacrifice she made, so that Nathaniel and Lehi could have what was best for them. That pain I have become accustomed to, that sense of deep longing and emptiness that sits in the corner of my mind every day I go without seeing the two most amazing people in my entire existence, has helped me understand just how amazing my own Mother truly is. I know that this is only one of many instances in which my mother has been an example of true love, and undying devotion, but for now, this is my favorite. Her ability to smile, and love she so deeply felt and so powerfully gave, through such incredible adversity has forever given me an example of the kind of person I hope to be. No gift I could possibly give, no words I could possibly express can begin to give proper thanks for the kind of Mother I have been blessed to be born to.
I saw a movie once that speculated that one possible way that our final accounting of this life could go, will be much like a hearing in court. Where we are our own witness and we share what we did right and wrong. We meet face to face with a loving God who lovingly asks what we did with what we were given. In this movie there were people who the protagonist had helped throughout his lifetime, people he had touched in a meaningful way and these people advocated for the individual, stating that he was a great person. Essentially they were witnesses to his good character. If there truly is any such event in the next life, I will fight to be one of the defenses key witnesses to the fact that my Mother is much more than just an angel, I will attest that she deserves to have the angels at her charge. I love you dearly Momma. You are such an important part of the foundation that keeps my house from crumbling. Happy Mother’s Day!
Love,
Jear Bear
Jear Bear
